Robin's Verse

I decided to write this here as opposed to flooding everyone's timeline with my favorite Robin Williams movies and thoughts. He was pure comedic genius and, like many people dealt with depression. He had many bouts with substance abuse and eventually gave into his demons. As someone who has dealt with substance abuse issues in my past, it scares me to death that that could have been me had I not chosen/been forced to choose a life of sobriety. I still have days where I'm not super nice to myself, but I have the best friends in the world who will listen to me rant incessantly over whatever minutiae I may be obsessing over at the time without getting too aggravated.

As you will hear said plenty over the next couple of days and weeks, if you or someone you know struggles with depression, seek help. There is nothing wrong with getting help! There is no shame in it! It doesn't make you broken or less than or undesirable. It just makes you human.

It doesn't shock me knowing that Robin Williams suffered from depression. All of my favorite roles of his were dramatic ones. Here's some clips:

What Dreams May Come(do yourself a favor and watch this if you haven't before):

Good Will Hunting:

Dead Poets Society:

Thanks for contributing your verse, Robin.

Until Next Time, Freebird

The problem when someone passes away too soon or suddenly is that we are left with so many questions: Why did this happen? Could anything have been done to stop it? Why him/her? The main question we are left with, though, is, "Did they know how I felt about them?"

I have found that a lot of the time, the person in question does, in fact, know how you felt about them. This isn't always the case, though, which is why I'm writing this today. All too often when something sudden and tragic happens - like a 36-year-old having a heart attack - we are left with the overwhelming guilt that we could have done more to appreciate them when they were here with us. Facebook posts will fly up left and right about hugging your loved ones and telling those close to you how you feel daily, and those things will become routine for a short period. Eventually, though, even our best intentions have a way of taking a back seat to life. 

I know these things all too well because I am as guilty of them as the next person. I have lost quite a few people over the last decade and each time I have been stuck asking all the questions mentioned above. The difference is, though, that I have an answer to the last one more often than not. I try my best to let those around me know my feelings towards them when I get the chance and that's the best I can do. There are obviously situations where that isn't the case, but it is for the most part. 

It wasn't yesterday, though. I lost a friend with whom I hadn't really been in touch with in 17 years. Jayson Freeman was a man of high quality when we were in high school, a guy I got to know while playing baseball in school. He was funny and kind and although he had things he struggled with, he never seemed to let it out on anyone else. I remember him being extremely genuine and just an all-around wonderful person. Freebird and I lost touch after high school, which was easy to do in the pre-Facebook days as some of you remember, but I have no reason to believe that any of the things I have said about him changed over time. Being funny and nice was his personality, who he was, not just an act. When I got the news last night of his passing, I was sad. Sad for his family and that group of friends that knew him the best. Sad for those people who never got the chance to speak with him or laugh with him. Sad for myself for not trying harder to reconnect with him as we got older and as the opportunities to keep in touch became easier. I didn't take the time to learn about his life as an adult and find out the things he had been doing. I didn't get to tell him the nice things I thought about him(or even how ridiculous he looked in his little purple truck) because as a high schooler, most of us weren't equipped or encouraged to do so. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and those friends who knew him the best as they are waking up today with a massive hole in their lives wondering what to do next.

I'll be guilty of saying these two things that always seem to be said: hug your loved ones and those close to you and live every day to it's fullest because you just never know. Cliche or not, it's the truth. Let's try this, though: Let's do whatever we can to make these lasting habits, long term things. That way, when our time comes - and it's coming for us all - we don't leave a load of people wondering if we knew. 

I want to challenge you all to go make a difference in someone's life today. Reach out to an old friend. Do something nice for your cousin. Do something nice for yourself. Just do something that will make a positive impact on the day of someone you care about and when you wake up tomorrow, do it again. I love you guys and thanks for reading. 

By the time I'm 40...

The title says it all. By the time I'm 40, I want to...damn, that's only five years away. I had another birthday last week that put me one step closer to 40. I remember going to my Grandma Spoon's house as an 8 year old to celebrate my mom's "Over the Hill" birthday and it seems so long ago. My mom wasn't old then, so why was she over the hill? Hell, she's barely old now.

How can I be only five years from 40? I look in the mirror and still see the teenager who jumps off the roof of his parents house to go sneak some beers with his friends. I see myself holding my baby nephew for the first time and being worried that I would break him and now he's a 5'7" 13 year old who will be learning to drive before I can argue about it. How can 40 be this close and this far away? Aren't people supposed to have their lives figured out by this stage?

Had I written this when I first graduated from college, I would have had 17 and a half years to fill in the ellipses behind the number 40 in the title. Had I done so the day Randy passed away, I would have had almost 13 years for that same space. Had I written those words on July 4, 2010, I would have had almost 9 years to figure it out, but instead I'm writing them today, a mere 1,820 days away from my 40th birthday.

So, here's my birthday resolution for my 35th birthday and some of the goals I plan to accomplish before my 40th birthday:

• I plan to not only earn a Masters degree in Sports Management but also a doctorate. That's right, only 40th birthday, we can all celebrate Dr. Farr.
• With that doctorate, I plan to be a professor. Preferably at the University of Texas, but I understand that there are other schools that need teachers.
• I will run at least one full marathon a year between now and then in hopes of getting faster and...
• Qualifying to run in the Boston Marathon April 15, 2019, 3 weeks before my 40th birthday.
• If I cannot meet the qualifying time requirement of 3 hours and 10 minutes, I will plan to raise enough sponsorship money to run in the race, but that is only as a last ditch effort. Qualifying is going to be my first goal.
• I will also learn a new language
• Master calligraphy
• Visit Scotland, Ireland and England

This list will inherently grow as I continue to evolve and as much as I regret not setting goals for myself earlier in life, I am glad I now have the clarity of mind to be able to see and enjoy the future that lies ahead of me.

Time to get to work, I suppose, because that clock keeps ticking regardless if we want it to or not.

The Curious Case of Mixed Emotions

I woke up this morning, like everyone else reading this I'm sure, to the news of the incident that occurred last night during SXSW and like everyone, I immediately felt sorry for those involved. The two people that were killed on the scene, the people injured, and the driver of the car. The lives of these people and their families will never ever be the same based on one major decision.

A lot of times, when there's an accident which claims the like of someone and not of someone else, there is a phenomenon, for lack of better words, that occurs called survivors guilt. The more I tried to empathize with those involved last night, the more I wondered what must be happening for them and their families, the more I started empathizing with the driver of that car.

I am not here to condone his actions, that's not the point of why I'm writing. I am writing today out of my survivors guilt from all of those times I jumped carelessly behind the wheel of a car and drove home after "a few drinks", even the three times I ended up behind bars for my actions. I am writing as a free man when just a few wrong turns later and I could be facing multiple capital murder charges.

I am lucky...and I know it and will admit it freely. I am lucky in the regards that all of those times that I was careless with my life and those of the people - many times friends - around me, that I never hurt anyone physically. I was reckless and careless and I feel that I owe everyone an apology again.

I wanted to originally write something about the dangers of drinking and driving, but then I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite. Long and short is, I was lucky. I. Was. Lucky. With drinking and driving there are no winners, only survivors.

I get asked all of the time whether or not I'll drink again and the tough of doing so honestly makes me ill sometimes. This morning was one of those times and I didn't even need the question to be asked of me.

So here's my pledge to anyone reading this: Save this phone number in your phone- (972)415-5984 - That's my cell phone number. Before you think about driving anywhere, give me a call and I'll pick you up. You can buy me a taco or coffee or something, I don't care. Just don't drive after drinking, it's not worth it, and it really doesn't take much to ruin a lot of lives when you combine the two.

I love you all and am always thankful for the support given me by everyone. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.

The Decision 2.0

So, a little over three years ago, LeBron James caused quite an uproar when he decided to switch teams. It wasn't because he switched teams. That was his right in a fair market economy to promote and essentially sell his services where he deemed he would be most successful. As most know, he left his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers behind to pursue an opportunity with the Miami Heat. What he did draw ire for publicly, though, was the way he decided to go about making this move. He staged a town hall type meeting, aired by ESPN and decided, famously, to "take his talents to South Beach." This poorly thought up event was called "The Decision." It has been panned almost religiously across the board for the bad taste at which the transition was handled, with some likening it to the quarterback of the high school team dumping his girlfriend at a pep rally to start dating a prettier girl.

I tell you that story for this purpose: When it came time to pick a new professional football team to root for, I wanted to do something on as grand of a scale. Unfortunately I don't have the money or notoriety to pull of a nationally televised town hall event, but the guy at Lids got a kick out of me.

A little back story as to why this decision even came into play: You see, I grew up in Dallas. A fan of all things and sports DFW related; Mavericks, Sidekicks, Rangers(most importantly), Stars after they came to town, and, of course, the Cowboys. Not only were they America's Team, but they were my hometown team. Mom had friends who were married to coaches and worked for the team so every Christmas and birthday was filled with autographed footballs from Danny White and even the whole team in some regards, pictures signed from Roger Staubach and Drew Pearson, calendars, game worn autographed shoes with blood on them from Randy White and so much other stuff that I could write a whole blog about just that. They weren't great in the 80s, but they were still iconic. They still are, by the way, just not for the reasons many of us would hope.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and rail on Jerry Jones incessantly. We all have faults and sometimes our situations amplify those faults. Under Jones, the Cowboys have won three Super Bowls but they have also suffered some of the most lousy, hair pulling, scream-at-the-tv moments I can remember. Their record over the past 17 seasons is exactly .500, meaning they have won as many games as they have lost. For the optimists in the crowd, at least we don't have a losing record! For the pessimists, the exact opposite. In fact, the ability to hang onto that level of mediocrity in a sport and league designed help every team eventually have their moment in the sun is staggering in-and-of-itself. The problem with being exactly .500 for that long is that it requires shrewd moves and great scouting to get better and get over the hump. If you stay at .500, you're stuck picking in the middle of the pack and choosing from talent that, for all intents and purposes, is very similar. At picks 15-17 in a draft of 32 teams, there isn't a lot of extreme stand out talent that's can't-miss. There are great players and the well run organizations suss these players out through scouting and interviews and player personnel teams identifying and attacking a need of their team.

All of the successful franchises over the past 15-20 years have done it. Actually, all successful teams ever, including the Jones owned, Jimmy Johnson-led and put together, Cowboys teams of the early 90s have done it. The problem with these current Cowboys is that Jerry Jones' ego is steering this bus. He wants so badly to win another championship and do it his way that he can't see just how dysfunctional it has gotten. He wants sole credit for being the mastermind because Jimmy gets credit for putting the Super Bowl teams together so he wants to win one himself with no help so that he can tell the world "I told you so." I'm sorry, but that's no way to run any business, especially one I personally invest time and money in. If Apple starts making substandard products and charging more for them, I will stop buying iPhones and switch to Android so I don't see why I can't do that with my football team. I watch every week and am frustrated every week. I watch the draft and see some asinine personnel move that leaves everyone questioning what just happened almost ever single year. I hear my owner say things like, "As long as I own the team, I will be the GM" and "we will always be in salary cap hell" and my personal favorite, "I've been doing some of my best work in my career over these past few years" and I'm supposed to be okay with it?

Call me a traitor. Call me a bandwagon fan. I don't care. Life is too short to cheer for a team with piss poor management that can't get out of it's own way. As long as someone with the last name of Jones is in the personnel selection spot, I can't waste any more of my time, money or effort. It's just going to perpetuate the problem the more people keep showing up and supporting the mediocrity.

Here's a hypothetical: The Seattle Seahawks just won the Super Bowl as some may remember. In 2009, they were 5-11 and pretty much a joke in what was then a weak division. They fired then-coach Jim Mora Jr. and brought on Pete Carroll from USC. They also brought in new GM John Schneider. In the 4 seasons since, they have gone 7-9, 7-9(playoff win), 11-5(playoff win) and 13-3(Super Bowl win). They have turned over the entire roster in 4 years as well. not one player from the '09 team is still around. The hypothetical is this: If John Schneider was a DFW native and his dream job was to be the GM of the Cowboys after the run he's had in Seattle, and he came to Jerry's office and asked to take over the reigns, would Jerry let him? I'm pretty sure we all know the answer is no, and that's a problem.

The Seahawks aren't the only team building success this way, either. Check out the Ravens, Giants, 49ers, Patriots, Packers, Steelers, Broncos. Then look at the messes in football, Raiders, Browns, Cowboys, Lions, Jags. The problem with this second group is that they have no clear delineation of power or direction and they continue to make the same choices. We all know the definition of insanity so I won't quote it, but it applies to all of that second group of teams mentioned.

So, that's why I had to change. That's why I had to get out of Dodge. I couldn't handle the insane feelings of watching this thing blow up in my face every week but still fighting to defend this bunch over and over and over.

So here's how I made my choice: I have quite a few friends in town with different rooting interests. I was originally going to go full-on blind draw and hope that I would have a friend to watch games with, but the chances of that were slim. So I went to the hat store and started grabbing hats of teams that I know have people who root for them in town that I know(that sentence seems like a bit of a struggle in my brain, but I couldn't figure out how to fix it). Anyway, some teams were ruled out due to lack of hat in my size at the store - Sorry Chargers, Vikings, Chiefs, Broncos, Seahawks, and Saints. Eventually I landed on these four teams:

I had to get creative with the blind draw portion of this because due to Austin's bag ban, stores like this don't have bags anymore, so I talked the guy into letting me use a trash bag. Dumped all four hats into the bag and asked the guy to hold it. I turned my head and started fumbling around in the bag and one of the hats literally fell out. I initially thought about putting it back in but then thought, "Wait, this hat wanted me so badly it jumped out of the bag." Pulled the credit card out and bought it on site:

I reached out to my super Steeler fan Jesse and told him I was on his team now and that I needed to buy him lunch in return for knowledge on my new team. So far he's been helpful. We are on the Stairway to Seven. Our colors are Black and Gold, NOT black and yellow. The colors in our logo are: Red- Iron Ore, Yellow- Coal, Blue- Scrap Steel. We have the 15th pick in this year's draft and are currently projected to take CB Darqueze Dennard out of Michigan State and I've already been invited to the annual trip to a home game. Obviously I don't know if a plan that can happen for me with all the works and school, but it's nice to have that option.

I will always have the Cowboys in my heart, but I am tired of losing that battle every year. No more Jones=you get Farr back. I don't see that happening anytime soon, though. Have fun on that roller coaster everyone. Thanks for joining me on this journey.

Moments

Life is full of moments. I understand that's not the most bold statement ever made by, well, anyone, but it's true. There are the good moments where you feel like you're on top of the world and you skip freely down the road, singing whatever song makes your heart the happiest. There are also the opposite moments, where life doesn't seem to stop piling on. Where one swing and a miss turns into 4 outs on 8 pitches seen with two strikeouts a la Josh Hamilton in the 2012 Wild Card game against the Orioles.

A lot of times, though, we occupy that middle ground between the two. We may stub our toe getting out of bed, but then our boss calls to say the office is closed for the morning due to an unexpected power outage. You may forget to study for a test and cram all day to find out upon test time that it's open notes and your stress and worry really didn't matter. Life is all about these moments and how we deal with them, and more importantly it's about whether we allow that one swing and miss affect how we play the rest of the game. 

I had a bit of a temper as a child and couldn't reign my emotions in a lot of the time, believe it or not. I cried and whined and lost my cool and didn't know how to properly deal with these things as they came my way with a clear, level head. I'm not saying there are loads of kids who do, mind you, I was just a basket case at times. But then along came my dad. 

For those that know him, Roger Farr is a good man. He cares a lot about a lot of people and for a lot of my friends, both older and younger than I, he was the cool, funny dad. He listened to countless kids at church and at our various school events that would come jibber-jabber his ear off about what was good in their life. Mom got them in school, Dad got them when they were away from school. 

I know this is one of the biggest cliches of them all, but it took me until well into my 30s to realize what a great man my father is. I always knew him as someone unafraid to show Randall or I tough love when we needed it, which was more often than not. I remembered, falsely, all of the times I felt that he was unfair or that his judgement was mean or evil against my favor. But when I look back on these moments, he was teaching me how to control myself, how to act, and how to get back up when life knocked me down. 

Can't hit a curveball to save my life and strike out with the bases loaded to end an inning? Dad tells me to chin up because you can't pitch with tears in your eyes. Same with shooting free throws. Same with a lot of life, actually. He's always been there for me, and the older I get, the more I realize I'm not the only person who relies on him in this way. Also the older I get, the more I realize how much of what he used to tell me when it came to sports, my favorite being, "The other teams kids moms and dads want to see them win just as badly as we want you to and they bought them gloves and bats just the same as we bought you." That was his was of saying you win some and you lose some and that it's really just a game so give it your best shot, and if you don't get a hit, it's not that you did wrong.

Once again, I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I will say this in closing. Life sometimes knocks you down and like a bully, doesn't let you get back up. My dad has gotten smacked pretty good by life recently, and he probably doesn't want me sharing this, but if you see him, give him a hug. I know he could use it. 

And Dad, hopefully Mom makes you read this, and if she does, let me say this: You are the smartest, hardest working man that I'll ever know and if I grow up to be half as wise, caring, strong and amazing as you, I know I'll be just fine. Thank you for always guiding me and never letting me give up on myself and for also never giving up on me, because I know that I gave you chances to. Thank you for always leading by example and showing me, Randy, Tony and now Reid that being a real man isn't always what the stereotypes say they are, but that being humble, and caring with the ability to be hilarious and roll with the punches regardless of the situation counts too. Thank you for never settling, always setting the example, and being a true display of fatherly love. I'll never be able to repay you for the life lessons that you have given me, but I wanted you to know that they reached their mark. Sorry it took me so long to realize what you were aiming for.

2014 ramblings

A friend of mine asked me today what I was going to write tonight and I guess I hadn't shared with her that I was a part-time blogger when I have the time and I told her that I try to write about what's on my mind but it had been a month or so. Well, I apologize that it's been close to three. That's unacceptable and it won't happen again.

So, since I last wrote, there have been major changes all over the landscape of my life and that's what this edition will be about; catching up with the past 3 months, and what is going to happen moving forward. The new year is a good time to clean up some things and start fresh, right?

So, as far as 2013 is concerned: I finished my semester with 2 A's in 2 classes; learned more about the presidents and their fitness levels than I probably ever thought I would; decided to push off entrance into grad school until Fall '14 so I can knock out the remaining prerequisites and take the GRE again - not that I bombed the first attempt, I just know I can do better with any semblance of preparation; ran a half marathon in a personal best time; decided to focus on training for more runs; and have made some decisions regarding my sports loyalties. Added to that mix are, what I feel to be, the needed change that occurred at the head coaching position at UT and the Cowboys once again letting me down. 

Now onto bigger and (hopefully) brighter things in 2014. I'm not going to sit here and make some sweeping declaration that 2014 is going to be the best year yet, but I think it has some real potential.  

My first main decision of change in 2014 begins with something that happened in late 2013. The Dallas Cowboys, my favorite football team since birth, was puttering along with another lackluster year headed again for the all-to-familiar finality of finishing another season with eight wins and eight losses. They had snatched defeat from the jaws of victory on more than one occasion this season and I was starting to run out of excuses for how these things could continue to happen. I was also starting to get tired of rooting for a franchise with such poor upper management that I finally reached my breaking point. I love the Dallas Cowboys, I truly do, but from this point forward until Jerry Jones is no longer in charge of personnel decisions, I renounce them as my NFL team of choice after 30+ years and am a free agent. I will, at some point between now and the draft in May, have a new team draw in which I will draw my new team from a hat, or something else random. I do not want to jump on the bandwagon of some team left in the playoffs to be 'that guy' so I am going to leave it up to fate. I'm just too tired of feeling like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football while Jerry plays Lucy and yanks it from me each time. Life is too short to continue to make the same mistakes over and over again and Jerry's pompous attitude and selfish nature have finally pushed me overboard. I know this isn't some life-or-death moment, but it will be a part of my 2014 and is one that I am looking forward to!

Secondarily, I have decided to run again in 2014...a lot!! My plan currently is to run ten half marathons and maybe one full. You read that right...TEN. Most of these will take place in Texas and there are a lot of them around and I feel like pushing myself. The first of these races takes place in eleven days and I couldn't be more excited with the second just a few weeks after. Both of those are here in Austin as well so it won't require any travel. For those of you who have been reading along with me over the years, you know that I started writing when I started running so I am expecting this increased attention to long distances to really fuel my writing spirit. I will be chronicling these runs and keeping you all up to date on these events, as they will help me navigate the year with a clear head. This is more for a later blog, but after having trained in the past alone, I have started training with a group and I will tell you all right here and now without ruining the future writings that I enjoy it even more now for so many reasons.

This year will also lend itself to more knowledge growth than has been present of late as I plan to focus and dedicate myself more to reading and less to tv and movie watching. I realized over the summer and past semester that I really enjoyed reading as I was required to do a lot of it for my coursework, but found that I was lacking the ability to read what I wanted to, but that's about to change. I asked Santa for a load of books for Christmas and, well, I guess I had been a good boy because he came through in a major way. Most of these books are the stories of our sporting past, all non-fiction and based, in some regards, around my studies. I have found that I love learning these old stories of the foundations of our nations love affair with sports and sporting culture, and since it's my passion and what I am going to study for the foreseeable future, I might as well immerse myself in it. 

Long and short, and seemingly what this whole edition has come down to, is that I'm tired of settling for the mediocre and middle ground and 2014 will be my first year in attempting to go all out for everything I want, all the time. Yeah, I may fail. Failure happens. Nobody succeeds the first time, every time. But, if you've been given a gift or an ability to do something, it's time to stop wasting it. They say you can't take it with you, but they are wrong. You CAN, depending on what you want to take. The money and accolades and all of that will be left here, for sure, but the way you feel at the end because of the amount of effort you put in will always be with you and who wants to lie there when their time is up and beat themselves up over what they SHOULD have said or COULD have done. Not this guy. Not good enough. Not anymore.

Full disclaimer: I never know where these things are going to end up when I start writing. I rarely know what direction they will take, or what my overall message is. I appreciate you guys wading through with me and hopefully I will get better and grow as you all grow with me. Suggestions are always accepted. Help me get better.

Last thought, these two songs may be the same song with the same point and damn near the same tune(especially the start), but they both rule. See you soon!

Training Runs on Pretty Days

Man, today was a good day for running. Such a good day, in fact, that even leaving my socks at home and having to run without them couldn't even get me down.

Things I will recommend: Not waiting until the week of an event to start training. Don't read this the wrong way, I cannot wait to run 13.1 on Saturday! Really and truly can't. I should have probably started knocking the miles out a bit ahead of time, though. It will either be the smartest or dumbest thing I have tried to do in recent memory.

Today's run, though, was phenomenal. Absolutely perfect. Around 82 when I started and sunny sunny sunny. The quintessential "Chamber of Commerce Day". After not running distance regularly in some time, I found today's run to be promising. I was able to maintain a pace of around 9:30 for the entirety of my 4.25 miles and only had to stop a time or two to stretch my left calf which got tight on me.

Obviously it's also recommended to wear socks while running and my feet are letting me know all about it right now, but like I said earlier, even that discomfort couldn't drag down how it felt to run again.

I started really feeling in rhythm around mile three-and-a-half which made closing the run that much more fun, but I honestly almost kept going. I hope race day has the same effect. I normally do start getting my legs under me around mile 3 so it's a challenge for that first quarter, and then I coast home.

Anyway, sorry about the short piece today. I'm just really excited that I made it! Now I have to start setting a playlist and rubbing my legs!

Catching Up With Some Good Tunes

As promised a few weeks ago, there are a bunch of new albums out that I needed to go over with you all, so I am just going to get right into it. As stated previously, I am no musician, I just really like music and enjoy the things it brings to my life. I could be utterly wrong about everything said below, but this is my blog so I can say what i want!

I'm gonna start with the easiest album I will ever probably attempt to tell anyone about, MGMT's latest self-titled venture. I was super smart and have once again purchased an album based upon previous works which I enjoyed even though the more recent work appears to be getting worse. This is prime example numero uno. After thoroughly enjoying their first album, "Oracular Spectacular", I rushed out to purchase their follow up, "Congratulations", and while wasn't as fond of it as the first, still found some modicum of enjoyment out of it. You can imagine my enjoyment, then, when I heard a new album was coming out. A chance to redeem themselves for a lackluster second effort, I thought. I thought wrong! I will have a hard time describing any of it to you because it forced me to zone out pretty hard and did not capture any part of my attention. I'm not sure if I have ADD or what, but I'm not sure if getting someone to zone out and not realize what they were listening to for close to an hour was what they were going for. I wish I could say I have given it more than one listen, but I haven't, and may not to be honest. Here are some of my favorite songs from the first two albums to make me feel better:

Enough about that, I'm glad I got it out of my system. Now onto something I have actually enjoyed listening to over the last few weeks.

I will start here with the full-length debut from Grouplove titled "Spreading Rumours". This album was released in late September, just weeks before the band would conquer ACL and become one of the darlings of the festival. I was first introduced to their work in the summer of 2012(I had to check my Shazaam to make sure of the time) when one of their tunes, "Colours", off their EP appeared in, you guessed it, a movie trailer. I would love to say I was pleasantly surprised by this album being good, but I wasn't. After listening to the EP pretty regularly and hearing some of their music pop up around the water cooler, I expected nothing less than some really good music and I was not let down and you won't be either. This album is chalk-full of finger tapping, head bobbing goodness with some raucous drumming and wonderful harmonies. I really just love this album. It's worth a listen or two. It's pretty great. 

Next up is the completion of Justin Timberlake's 20/20 Experience. The first disc was released back in the spring and was a very sexy, melodic album full of soul and class. In the follow-up/completion of the journey, JT takes us into the world of what happens before you get to classy and gets - pardon the rhyming that is about to occur, I just can't help myself sometimes - sassy. This album seems focused more in the club scene in which one would be attempting to pick up the lady for whom you would eventually write the love songs. My only real issue with this album is that it wasn't the first part because I feel that it would have flowed better into the other part as opposed to the way they were actually released. It's just partially irritating to listen to an album full of songs for six months that you could equate all are written for his wife, Jessica Beil, and then follow it up with a bunch of really good club songs about hooking up. Going in reverse would have told the tale better in my opinion. Anyway, there are a few gems on this album as well and I can't wait to see the man put on his show in December. Some of my favorites:

I will end today's session with what I think is one of the most enjoyable listens around these days, and that is the young lady from the UK, Lorde, with her full-length debut, "Pure Heroine". Coming off a summer where she captured ears worldwide with her hit "Royals", she keeps the train running with this album. Her voice is mesmerizing, melodies and accompanying beats entrancing, and the whole album begs to be listened to on repeat."Tennis Court" and "Glory and Gore" are my jams. For real check this album out if you haven't already.

Understanding Fans, or Trying to

You ever wonder what happens when a fan base for a certain team gets so used to winning that the thought of losing turns them on one another and, even worse, on their team? 

We heard a story in class today about the first ever professional baseball club, the Cincinnati Red Stockings, that rivaled some of the fan sentiment from today and even outdid some of the extreme nature of fan behavior present in todays society. A little background, in the mid 1800s, baseball was taking off and truly becoming our nations pastime as men, and women, all over the country were playing the exciting new game. No city took to the game more than that of New York, with over 50 teams competing against one another in 1858. The popularity of the game even grew throughout the Civil War as men on both sides were playing constantly. One of the main rules set up as baseball was founded, though, was that of it always remaining an amateur game, meaning, the founders of baseball never wanted their players to be paid. This all changed in 1869 when Harry Wright founded the Red Stockings and begin paying his players, many of whom were from the New York area. His investment in players paid off as they won all 65 of their games in the '69 season, they even turned a profit on the season for their investors of $1.39. The roll continued as the next season began and they won their first 27 games, beating teams on either coast with help from the intercontinental railroad. It wasn't until a matchup in front of 20,000 spectators in New York, playing against the Brooklyn Atlantics, that the Red Stockings first tasted defeat, an 8-7 extra innings loss. The Cincinnati fans took this loss so badly that many refused to show up for future home games and eventually the team was disbanded. All based on ONE loss!

Talk about fans not putting up with losing. I have seen this scenario play out more times than I care to count, though not as extreme,  in recent memory with not only my alma mater, The University of Texas, but also with some of the other teams I pull for, the Texas Rangers, Dallas Cowboys and even Manchester United.

All of these situations have their differences, but the long and short is still that winning and being competitive in your league has fostered a sense of entitlement in the fan base to where the slightest hiccup causes massive uproar. Don't get me wrong, there are issues at hand with all of the aforementioned teams, but is it really the worst of times as some would have us believe?

For example, when the Rangers lost game 163 this year to the Rays, I was as disheartened and bummed as any Ranger fan. I wish we had done more to solidify our spot in the postseason and given ourselves a shot at another World Series run. The unfortunate part, though, is that we didn't. We lost our way mid-September and without a furious last week of play, wouldn't have even had the shot at game 163. Yes, there are some changes that need to be made, but if you had listened to some of the venom  being spewed after that loss, you would think we had lost every game along the way. Some of it was pretty brutal. The other end of the spectrum is the "well, at least we made it this far" fan that's okay as long as their team plays well and always wants to keep everyone around because of the good ole days.

A lot of both is going on down here in Austin with the sometimes scuffling, always confusing 2013 version of the Texas Longhorns football team. One week we suck and need to fire Mack, the next week we are better and turning the corner, the next we win, but sucked doing so and probably got lucky so Mack needs to go again and the next, we do the improbable and win a game that we probably shouldn't have and maybe all is well. Who really knows? I know I don't. I know there have been times where I've sung the praises of these kids and other times where it wasn't fun at all and I would rather not watch the game at all.

When you talk the Cowboys... on second thought, I'm not gonna address that here. I have my own opinions that some others share and many others don't about what is going on with those guys. I get really more frustrated with talking Cowboys than anything else I talk about, mainly because I do feel so strongly towards how a certain player performs versus how many within the fan base of those cheering view him.

All in all, if we view fandom as a spectrum, where one end is the 'Chicken Little sky is falling end' and the other is the 'Never change the good ole days end', I fall somewhere in the middle. I like nostalgia and longevity but at the same time, when something is broken, it needs to be changed. That's where I am on Texas football. I know we are playing better and our kids haven't given up on this season and still DO have a lot to play for over the remaining 6 games, but I think it's time for a change at the top and time for a new voice to be heard in the room. Not to disparage what Mack has done for the profile and strength of the program, but the time has come if you ask me. My hope for the rest of the season? That we win out! Win the Big 12 and play in a BCS bowl and win it and allow Mack to step aside a winner, like he wanted to do after 2009.

As for the Rangers, I don't really know what I want. I do know I wish they were on the verge of their third World Series matchup in 4 years and a chance for revenge against a team that sometimes makes it hard for me to fully trust baseball again. Many people have had this phenomenon after getting their hearts broken in relationships, mine is still mending two years later after the blow the Cardinals laid on me. Instead we are home, watching other teams get their chance at glory, figuring out how to take that next step back into the fray. I have utmost faith, though, that the right moves will be made to make sure that this thing heads in the right direction, though. 

The Coolest Job in Music

Movies and music go hand-in-hand if I am the one who gets to make the call. The right song at the right moment can make all of the world of difference in how you feel towards a character or react to what's going on in a particular scene. Ryan Phillippe waits for Reese Witherspoon at the top of the escalator in Cruel Intentions and "Color Blind" by the Counting Crows drags you into the moment, allowing you to share that intense, emotional meeting that is a turning point in the entire film. Same with the first time Natalie Portman and Zach Braff meet in Garden State and she changes his entire life with one Shins song or the closing scene of Fight Club where Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter have front row seats to the apocalypse, his face half blown off, buildings collapsing around them all to the beat of the Pixies "Where is My Mind." That Pixies tune is the only one on the whole soundtrack not written and produced by the Dust Brothers and has become synonymous with the movie itself. There are so many more songs that define movies that I could write a daily blog about a different one for a year.

Music can dramatically altar everything in your life, and never more so than in a movie, if you ask me. Gonna try a new thing this week and add links as we go. Disregard the subtitles if you would.

What I have started to become more cognizant of, though, as I consume movies is the trailers. I mean, yes, I have always loved them and then once I had friends who were in the business of turning movies into trailers, I found out the level of work it takes to take a two hour film, make it into 3 minutes and don't give away the ending. The job I want now, though, is not that job, but the job of picking the music to accompany the trailer. I feel these guys are doing masterful work picking the right tune to portray the tone of the movie and are really thinking outside the box. My two favorite trailers that fully exemplify this that are out currently are for the upcoming Leonardo DiCaprio flick The Wolf of Wall Street and the Ben Stiller fantasy tale The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I don't know if I love the trailer because they feature songs I really enjoy or what, but I want to see these movies so badly. The former features a really poorly named Kanye West tune "Black Skinhead" and the latter gives us "Dirty Paws" by Of Monsters and Men. I will leave it up to the psychologists in the group to determine what level of Pavlovian response I have had that has made me gravitate towards these two movies in particular and why I can remember their trailers more than any other out right now save Gravity, which is funny given the concept of this blog. Gravity sticks out to me because of it's general lack of music in the trailer save a few piano chords and short violin stroke.

Anyways, enjoy the clips, go see some movies this week, support the artists in your town, turn off the tv and watch some of the iTunes Festival while it's still available for free on your iTunes. Next week is coming in hot with probably 10 album reviews including the second part of Justin Timberlake's 20/20 Experience, new MGMT, Grouplove, Avicii, Lorde and more! There will also be playlist under the last movie clip of some of my favorite movie songs and songs from movie soundtracks. Thanks as always for your support!

Quick Breakdown:
1. Slow Wave from Pump Up The Volume
2. Stuck in the Middle from Reservoir Dogs
3. Pretty Woman is pretty self-explanatory, no?
4. Tiny Dancer from Almost Famous
5. Afternoon Delight has been in a ton of movies, probably most famously for the Channel 4 News Team's rendition in Anchorman
6. Lookin' Out My Back Door The Big Lebowski
7. In the Air Tonight is another that has been all over the place, but will forever be linked to The Hangover
8. Take My Breath Away from Top Gun
9. And Back to the Future's Power of Love

This is a super quickie list of songs that came to mind as I thought about movies I had seen in the past few months. I'm going to continue to add to this list and if someone knows how to become the guy that puts movie soundtracks together and/or gets to choose the songs for trailers and seminal moments in movies, holla at your boy!!

The Overreactive Subculture of Sports and Society

Today I am writing tired. Not physically tired, mind you. I have been getting my 6 hours or so of sleep each night like a good little boy. I am mentally tired, though. Why, you ask, am i mentally tired? Must be from the juggling of two jobs and school and the relentless pursuit of fitness, right? NOPE!!!! It's from the constant and consistent overreaction to every minor detail of every football game that has happened over the past two weeks. That's right, I'll say it. We are two weeks into football season and I am already over it. I understand I am may be a little more sensitive to this than most after years of working in bars which caused me to make small talk with complete strangers and having a lot of that talk be sports related. I am probably overly optimistic when it comes to my teams and honestly, at the root of things, I just want to be entertained and if my team wins, even better.

Fair warning, this is going to be my rant blog tonight so if you don't want to read me be super grumpy, stop reading now because here goes nothing:

• The Longhorns are not the worst team that has ever played football. Yes, they sucked real hard Saturday night and deserved to lose and, in all honesty, Manny Diaz deserved to lose his job. Whatever he has been doing since his arrival has been subpar and a change needed to be made. What pisses me off to no end, though, is the endless stream of comments I've read railing against David Ash, UT's quarterback. Did he have the best game ever? No. Did he cost the Longhorns the game with a lack of effort and excess turnovers? HELL NO! While his defense was allowing a school record 550+ yards rushing, David was a modest 19 of 34 for 251 yards through the air and two touchdowns with no turnovers. He also ran for 34 yards before leaving the game in the 4th quarter with a concussion. Was he the problem? Not even remotely. Did I still have to read on my Facebook wall about how much McCoy should be in and not him and then listen to it all morning at the bar Sunday? You know it. 
• Another topic that burns me up is this notion that every kid in the state of Texas wants to come play football here and that Mack Brown has done a lousy job of getting talent to this school. A lousy job of developing the talent? I could stand to be persuaded that that is the truth. The fact that there isn't talent here is asinine to think. People can bitch all they want about RG3 or Andrew Luck not coming here but you know what? When they were being recruited, we had the number 1 recruit in the nation on the way to play quarterback in Garrett Gilbert. He is from Austin, was winning championships, son of a former NFL QB, running our offense and the consensus number one QB recruit in the nation. Every school in America wanted him and if you think i'm lying, you're kidding yourself. So, is it out of the question at that point to offer smallish track star RG3 a scholarship as a wide receiver?  I would think not. Same with Luck. These guys all want to play in the NFL so why would one top recruit follow another top recruit to a school when another school is offering him a chance to play right away? Johnny Football? Yeah, we didn't offer him a scholarship, but it doesn't surprise me either after the fact. Mack Brown is, and always has been, a man that teaches respect of others and, as the story is told, he had issues with Johnny's personality so he didn't offer him a scholarship. Should he have? Would you date a girl/guy with a shitty mindset that treated people poorly just because they were hot or wealthy? Same story. We have 85 total scholarships to give to members of the football team. 85. In 2011, the state of Texas produced 345 division 1 football players of the 161,000 kids that participated in High School football. Put simply, if Texas, A&M, Baylor, Tech, and TCU took 25 each of these kids, that's 220 for the rest of the nation to choose from. My point is that sometimes you're gonna hit, and sometimes you're gonna miss. Also, and not to pick on Johnny Football, but if he was such a great recruit, wouldn't the likes of Baylor or TCU have offered him a scholarship? At the time, they were better off football-wise than the Aggies so it's not like they wouldn't have tried to get him, right?
• Now onto the Cowboys. I love Tony Romo. I think he's downright awesome and it was such a wonderful and welcomed sight watching him not have to completely run for his life last night and get to work in the pocket. I'm sure it was as alarming to him as it was to me. I am sick and tired of listening to people say that this team will never win with him at quarterback. There are so many points to be made that I don't feel like typing right now because it makes me feel like I'm taking crazy pills that I am seeing this while everyone else misses it. It has gotten so bad for me that last night, when his right tackle Doug Free got bum-rushed and pushed on his fat ass, and then Tony got leveled and stayed down and eventually was pulled from the game that I wished he would be hurt for the whole season. I wished this not because I think anyone else could do better, quite the contrary, actually. I wished that so that people who cheer for this team can see just what he means to this team and learn to respect the job he has done year in and year out with the substandard support staff that has been provided to him. I would forfeit the whole season just so Tony could get the respect he deserves.

I'm done, I have so much more to say but don't want to get too worked up before bed. Have fun out there. Hate what I said or love it, I don't care, just pay attention to what you're watching. It should be fun. It should be a respite from a long day's work, or a time to meet and hang with friends. 

Who Knows Why?

Who knows why things happen the way they do? Who knows why we experience life the way we do? Who knows why we see certain things and not others, why we feel certain things at certain times and nothing at others?

People say things all the time when things that affect them happen - "Because of (blank), I will no longer do (blank)" or "After seeing that, I will no longer do this", etc. The problem with these statements is that life goes on, we revert back to our normal habits, and until we are reminded of the event again, we haven't changed a thing.

Well, sign me up for that list after what I saw today, the first one and hopefully not the second one. As many of you may have seen on my Facebook today, I was on the scene of an accident today in which a young lady out for a morning jog downtown was struck by a vehicle while crossing a street. She was probably no more than 50 yards in front of me when this happened and had been standing right next to me at the previous stoplight.

I did what any normal person who saw this happen would do and, along with about 10 other people, called 911, calmly explained what I had just seen happen and requested assistance and stayed on the line until help arrived. I was asked by the operator to see if there were any noticeable injuries and to check and see if she was awake so I had to actually walk over and look in this poor girls face. She was awake, crying and breathing hard, no external injuries present. As I found out after, one of the gentlemen that had stopped to help was Austin City Council member Mike Martinez, who is a former fire fighter.

The person that had hit her pulled over immediately and was still there when I wandered off towards my appointment. I wish I had done more to see if they were alright too, but I didn't.

I will never forget the sound that was made when that car struck that young lady, nor will I forget the look in her eyes as she looked up at me. She was terrified and in shock and I can't say that the look I gave her back was any different.

Who knows who was at fault, really? From what I remember, she was crossing at a don't walk and the car had the green but from info I gathered from others on that street corner, the car was behind a bus and apparently got tired of waiting for them to load and pulled out from behind the bus and accelerated to make it through the intersection. She never saw them coming.

As a runner, this terrified me to no end. I have crossed so many streets, earbuds blaring, having scanned the intersection a few strides out to make sure I was safe moving forward, just like she did. It's not like I have survivors guilt and wonder why this happened to her and not me or anything like that. It's just scary because I can admit to having been less than cautious from time-to-time, more worried about my pace as opposed to my safety. Side note: she is apparently doing well, no life-threatening injuries, etc which is great news.

As a driver, and in my opinion a pretty safe one, I can guarantee that I have allowed a deadline or timeframe affect how I acted behind the wheel. I have sped up to make intersections, I have cursed those cautiously moving through the streets, I have texted while driving or been more worried about the perfect song playing, I have been that asshole, and I'm not too proud to admit it.

After getting my last DWI, I told plenty of people that I would gladly accept all three of my DWIs so that no one else I knew had to experience that 'pain'. I wanted to let others learn from my mistakes and that's why I have let my struggles be widely known and have attempted transparency with anyone who has asked me about my situation. I feel as if I know enough people that I can help keep others out of jail.

Anyway, I use that metaphor to illustrate my point for today. I plan to learn from what I witnessed today. A lot of times, people like to close their eyes in the face of things that scare them or when things make them uncomfortable and as much as seeing this today kind of ruined my day, if I learn something from it and can change the way I live because of it, then I will accept it. How, you ask, do I plan on changing my day-to-day operations based on an accident and nothing more? Glad you asked!

When running, I will:

• Obey any and all don't walk signs, even if there are no cars in sight
• Never have my music up so loud to where I have drowned out everything around me.
• Attempt to run in areas designated for running only, like the multiple trails provided in town. I understand the fun of going on a city run, but is the risk worth the scenery?
• Always wear my RoadID in case something like this were to happen to me. 
• May even start running with my phone, although that may take an act of Congress.

When driving, I will:

• Be mindful of all intersections, especially in areas populated with many pedestrians
• Be courteous to other drivers and make a concerted effort to maintain calm behind the wheel, especially when up against a deadline. If that means leaving my house 15 minutes early, so be it.
• No longer look at my phone behind the wheel of a car, not for music, not for a text message.

What I saw was nothing more than an accident and I will pray for the young lady who was struck as well as the person who was driving the car. I wouldn't have wanted to be either and am not sure how I'd be dealing with things had I been behind the wheel of that car. I feel blessed that she wasn't seriously physically injured, or worse, and I'm sure many others feel the same.

RIP TEX

Yesterday was a tough day for many members of the University of Texas community as Bill Livingston passed away at the age of 93. Mr. Livingston - I can't bring myself to call him Bill as if I knew him - spent over 58 years at UT and has a laundry list of accomplishments that he could have hung hit hat on.

A short list of Mr. Livingston's accomplishments:

• Earned a Bronze Star and Purple Heart during the Battle of the Bulge in WW2
• Came to UT- Austin in 1949 as a Government professor
• Held many roles on campus, including but not limited to:
• Chair of the Government Department
• Vice-Chancellor of academic programs
• Vice President and Dean of Graduate Studies
• Led the committee and planned the development of the LBJ School of Public Affairs
• Served as acting president in 1992
• And, lastly, how I remember him, was the voice of TEX

For anyone enrolled at UT in the 1990s, you remember all too well the phone calls to the Texas Enrollment Exchange; TEX for short. You knew when your call-in window was and had mapped out perfectly how your upcoming semester would play out; no school on Fridays and no classes before noon! Nailed it. 

Unique numbers would all be jotted down in one place so you could access them quickly enough to make it happen and get in before everyone else beat you to it. The problem is, and was, that you weren't always so lucky. That's where Bill Livingston's voice would come into play. He was TEX, and his dulcet tones would guide you through the process.

You see, before the internet took over the world and you could register for classes online, you either had to go to a mass registration center and sign up for classes or, when the technology became available, you could dial-in, using a touchtone phone and make your selections. It was the most nerve-wracking experience one could fathom at 19 years old and probably sleep deprived and potentially half-drunk.

After each selection you punched in, TEX would let you know how successful you were. I can't remember exactly how it went, but it was something along the lines of, "The class you have selected, #####, has(30 second pause - not really, but still) (NOT) been successfully added." Those were your two options, success or failure. 

The other fun part was the time constraint on each call. When asked for your next selection or to try again, you had to be ready or else you would get disconnected, all previous progress would be lost and you would be in full-on scramble mode, feverishly trying to reconnect at the same time that thousands of other students were also jamming up the lines. You had to have all back-up plans and follow-up scenarios played out just in case you failed at your first - or second, third, fourth - attempt. It was frantic flipping through the course guide and trying to think on the fly what your advisor had told you that you needed to take.

The most fun part of the call came at the end, whether you were enthused or dejected, TEX always left you with a hearty, "Goodbye, and Good Luck." Even though it was recorded, you felt as if he meant it. (To listen, click the link on the words, I couldn't get the video to load and play here)

I was on the cusp of never knowing TEX. When I started college, many services weren't available online, including class registration. I think it was somewhere around my third year that Eric figured out we could register online, heard my phone call frustration from the next room and told me to try online. I did, found it to be easier and never called TEX again. They retired TEX in 2005, but I bet many after 2001 hardly knew him.

Lifetime Longhorn Richard Hogeda, who happens to be a lifelong friend, former student of my mom, and current mentor to me on my journey through school had a great idea yesterday that Mr Livingston's familiar phrase should be played at every commencement from here to eternity and I couldn't agree more. I plan on seeing if this movement has already been started and, if not, I plan on starting it myself.

Mr Livingston is survived by his wife of 70 years, two sons and daughter-in-laws, two grandsons and four great-grandchildren.

Goodbye and Good Luck, Mr. Livingston, "Til Gabriel blows his horn!"

The Civil War between The Polyphonic Spree and Robin Thicke

Welcome back to The Subculture. Since it's Tuesday, it can only mean one thing: music. I will continue to give this little disclaimer when I do music or movie posts for the time-being:

"I fully agree that I know very little about music technically. I'm not going to break down rhythm sections or melodies. I am simply going to tell you all about the music I am listening to and whether or not I think it would be worth your time and effort to listen as well. If I buy a new album or recent release, that will get reviewed first. If I have nothing new to listen to, I will pick a few random selections to go over. As always, I am also open to suggestions on tunage so if you're listening to something groovy, share the love. I wanna be cool and in the loop too!"

So, this week, as promised, I am going to review the most recent efforts from three groups/artists - The Polyphonic Spree, Robin Thicke and The Civil Wars(does the title make sense now?).

Let me start with the album I was most excited to listen to of the three; The Polyphonic Spree's 4th full-length studio album Yes, It's True. I have followed this Dallas-based band for almost a decade at this point and they have grown and evolved quite nicely over time. For those of you unaware, the Polyphonic Spree is the brainchild of Tripping Daisy frontman Tim Delaughter and is comprised of as few as 15 members and as many as 26. Their original sound was very majestic and airy and has progressively gotten more and more, well, badass. It took me a few listens to this album to appreciate the new direction the band has taken, but I truly did enjoy this album. Yes, I'm biased and it would have had to be complete garbage for me to dislike it, but it's worth a listen to those of you out there looking for something different to try on. The sound of each tune is different which allows each song to kind of stand on its own, all while being a part of that whole. Favorite tracks: You're Golden, What Would You Do?, and Popular By Design. I won't lie, I didn't find any that I would say stay away from.

Next up: The Civil Wars self-titled sophomore album. This will be the easiest review I will probably ever write. This duo is rock solid and if you liked the first album, you'll like this one. They don't skip a beat and continue to make music that would sound at home with the bootleggers in Kentucky and Tennessee during prohibition. This album does seem to carry a little heavier note in it from time to time as they seem to have stolen some guitars from the Black Keys. It all works and is great, and soothing and would work well with a cup of coffee in the morning or a glass of whiskey in the evening. Like the last album i reviewed, all of the songs are worth rolling through at least once, but Sacred Heart is just plain beautiful, complete with very simple banjo picking, impeccable harmonies and done completely in French. I wish I knew what was being discussed in this song, but you could tell me the worst news possible and if you did so in French, it wouldn't sound as bad. Also, they cover Smashing Pumpkins mega-hit Disarm and it's mind-blowing.

I know what you're starting to think, "Does this clown think anything sucks?!" Well, I won't go that far, mainly so I won't make every woman reading this hate me, but the newest release from Robin Thicke, Blurred Lines, is pretty brutal. In short, Thicke plays the part of a poor-man's Justin Timberlake with less soul on this album. Many of the songs are very thin and childish, Feel Good and Go Stupid 4 U, come to mind. There are also super cheesy love songs, which I do actually enjoy, but they don't fit in the scheme of the album. Summer smash hit and title-track Blurred Lines is far-and-away the best track on the album and there are a few others that are in the same vein that will probably be heard in clubs before too long; namely Put Your Lovin On Me and the Give It 2 U remix feat. Kendrick Lamar and 2 Chainz. If he had made the whole album as edgy as the last three songs I mentioned, he would be onto something.

Check 'em out and let me know if you agree or not. I would love opinions, it's the only way I'll get better.

For the playlist today, it's pretty straightforward. I like songs this week that tell stories so there will be no need to explain any of them to you as they will weave their own tales.




There are so many more songs that tell stories, but these are a few of my favorites. What are some of yours?

Also, as always, here are some links to some of the music discussed today:

Polyphonic Spree's We Crawl off of 2007's The Fragile Army

and their cover of Nirvana's Lithium off their EP Wait

The Civil Wars with Disarm

And Robin Thicke with Blurred Lines

Things we could learn from Freddie Joe Steinmark

School ends this week and we had a fun project to do for our final paper. We had to read a sports based non-fiction novel and connect the ideas in the book to something that interests us in the sports world. The paper is to be written in a blog style so I figured, "Perfect, I can double up and write the paper and use it as a blog post as well." So, here we go:

____________________

Every autumn in Texas, residents from all over the state stop what they are doing, fire up grills, ice down refreshments and put on their team colors in order to flock to the sanctuaries of the south, better known as football stadiums. Every Friday through Sunday – and even some Thursdays and Mondays, too – from Labor Day to New Year’s Day, the masses gather to show support for their heroes of the gridiron. We puff out our chests and revel in the victories. We become sullen and agonize over defeats.  It’s the same for fans of every team; regardless what colors they wear or what hand gesture accompanies the alma mater or fight song.

Football is a way of life for many and it isn’t just happening on the weekends anymore. The continuing rise of technologies along with the explosion of social media, fantasy football and dedication of sports networks like ESPN and the NFL Network have made football a 24/7/365 proposition for anyone who cares to continuously and instantly be involved with the goings-on of their favorite teams or players. Potentially millions of would-be coaches and football experts just waiting for the stars to align so that they can get their shot at glory fill the stands of thousands of stadiums across the state, from El Paso to Texarkana, looking to impart their wisdom on anyone within earshot. It’s not uncommon to hear sentences that begin, “I saw/heard this week that…” and finish with a random stat, juicy tidbit on the star quarterback, or just something interesting or unusual that had been discussed on radio stations, team message boards, TV, or anywhere else one can find it.

More than 60% of American adults own smartphones, close to double that of just a few years ago. What does that mean? It means being constantly connected to the people, things, and even teams you are most fervent about. It means never having to guess the answer to a trivia question posed on a jumbotron during a TV timeout because you essentially have a miniature computer in your pocket that contains all of the answers. It allows anyone with the time and ability to wade through the minutiae to appear to be the smartest person in the room.

While new technologies and sources for news have arisen over the past few years, many of them sometimes seem to do more harm than good. Teams have been forced to impose rules on their players about what kinds of pictures and other content can be displayed on their Facebook pages or Instagram accounts and even monitor Twitter accounts of the players to make sure they are representing their school or team in a proper fashion. The main downfall, in my opinion, of this immense flood of information is that so many wonderful stories and tales have gone by the wayside.  The reason we know of such things as Paul Revere’s midnight ride, or the Battle of the Alamo isn’t because Davy Crockett got out his iPhone and snapped a photo of Santa Anna riding in and “tagged” William Travis and James Bowie. We know of these things because these stories were chronicled, either through first-hand accounts written by those there, or through the tales being passed through the generations.

Sports stories, tall tales and legacies are no different. Ever heard the one about Babe Ruth calling his shot and hitting a home run during the World Series in Chicago? Even with multiple videoed angles of this famed play, we still don’t know if he was pointing to the centerfield stands, the pitcher Charlie Root, or the players on the Cubs bench. He did hit a home run, though, and the tale was born of the baseball player so talented, he could choose what he was going to do at the plate before the pitch was even thrown. How about the fact that Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team?  This one is true adjacent. Yes, the future “Greatest Player to Ever Tie His Shoes” was cut as a sophomore… from the varsity team at his high school. He was, however, still allowed to play basketball for the junior varsity team and was a star at that level before growing four inches over the summer between 10^th and 11^th grades and then going on to dominate the Tar Heel State and then the NBA.

Sports have provided us with many metaphors for life, as far back as recorded word can recount. The tales of gladiators overcoming the challenges in the Colesseum provided hope to the downtrodden members of early Roman society. The tales of ex-slave Tom Molineaux and his rise to fame and glory by beating English boxing champion Tom Cribb can be used to show that anyone can overcome their inherent circumstances with the proper amount of hard work and perseverance. The lists go on-and-on with inspirational tales of men and women overcoming the trials and tribulations that stood before them and conquering their oppressors, whatever they may be. Movies have been made, both out of true stories like Raging Bull and Brian’s Song and out of the minds of the creative people in Hollywood like the Rocky franchise or The Natural. Heroes have been made out of sports stars because of the legendary things they have accomplished, both on and off the field.

Never, though, has there ever been a tale to rival that of Freddie Steinmark, as told in Jim Dent’s novel Courage Above the Game. It’s the tale of a smaller than average football player from a small town with a heart of gold, a love for God and family, and an incredible desire to achieve greatness in his favorite sport, football. Passed over by his favorite school, Notre Dame, because of his lack of size, he follows his superstar teammate from the mountains of Colorado to the Forty Acres of The University of Texas at Austin where he meets a legendary coach who appreciates his diminutive stature because it is reminiscent of the coach in his playing days. He has had a few constants in his life: the same girlfriend he had in the eighth grade along with her less-than-approving mother; his own family, including a hard-as-nails dad living vicariously through his son’s athletic exploits. He arrives on campus and immediately starts turning heads on the field with his fearless play. As a sophomore, he becomes one of only a handful of players to ever start as a sophomore under Coach Darrell Royal when he assumes the role of starting safety at a slight 5’9” and 155 pounds. He proceeds to lead the Southwest Conference in interceptions and singlehandedly seals a few Longhorn victories along the way in the 1968 season, thus helping the Horns enjoy nine wins, one loss and one tie and including a Cotton Bowl victory over Tennessee. During his junior season, despite enduring lingering and constant pain in his left leg, he never lets on how much pain he is in and is a main cog on a national championship-winning defense. Only after the successful season does he learn that he has bone cancer that has ravaged the lower part of his left femur and that his leg may need to be removed if the tumor is malignant. It is and doctors remove the leg a mere six days after he plays his last down of football. He vows to watch his teammates take on his former favorite school Notre Dame from the sideline in the Cotton Bowl to solidify their national championship, and does so. He also vows to everyone that he will use his new prosthetic leg to walk across the stage and receive his letter jacket from Coach Royal at the post-season football banquet, which he does a mere two weeks after first putting it on. Not a dry eye is left in the house as the young man with the winning smile inches his way slowly toward his stoic coach, standing at the podium and fighting back the emotions. Then comes the rebellion and frustration over the new circumstances. Steinmark breaks up with his lifelong girlfriend, Linda, two days before Valentine’s Day and begins to date around, attend parties, drink beer and even grows his hair long. His rebellion is short-lived, as is his remission. He reconciles with Linda; proposes to her; and on their planned wedding date, he begins to slip in-and-out of a coma from which he will never fully recover and after 22 years, five months and nine days of life on this earth, Freddie’s journey was complete. As Dent recalls in the Author’s Notes section of his book, “Not a single solitary sole” said anything bad about Freddie Joe Steinmark as he researched this topic. Spanky Stephens, former team trainer said, “Freddie gave us a roadmap for life”; Coach Royal stated, “Boy, he was a fighter, and he fought until the end.” Every quote that appears in the book from former teammates, coaches and friends explain exactly how revered this young man was across the board.

The book itself is entertaining with a straightforward presentation filled with a lot of fun facts and wonderful recollections of those who were there with Freddie and knew him best. Dent does a fantastic job of transporting the reader to a time not that long ago that seems ages away all at the same time. The story goes that many players didn’t know Freddie was even sick before they found out he had had his leg amputated. It was a very different era than the constant news cycle that we live in today, and Dent does a masterful job of taking the reader there. He didn’t take the easy way out and write a story solely about the months surrounding Freddie’s diagnosis and subsequent death a year and a half later. Instead, he told the story of Freddie’s life and how larger-than-life he was in his hometown of Wheat Ridge, CO, and how inspirational he was to his team, both then and now.

Current Texas football coach Mack Brown provided the foreword for Dent’s novel and has made sure that Freddie’s legacy lives on within the program. “First, we wanted the players to understand the pride and tradition of those who had come before,” Brown says in the intro. “We arranged the plaques of all All-Americans and academic All-Americans in the hallway leading to the field.” After Coach Brown learned that the scoreboard had been dedicated to Freddie’s memory, he felt as if it were time to tell the current players Freddie’s story. He told them the same courageous story Jim Dent lays out for us in Courage Beyond the Game. To make sure the current players recognized Freddie’s courage, Brown had Freddie’s picture installed at the end of the same hallway and the players are instructed to touch with their horns up on their way down the tunnel. Brown states that, “Armed with the pride of the All-Americans, and in honor of the courage of Freddie, we ask them to go out and play as hard as they can.” Brown even takes a smaller version of the picture on the road with the team.

Many times in death, we have bright and shiny memories of those who have left us and tend to forget those times that they let us down, and this book doesn’t falter as it is chalk-full of those types of memories - the good ones that could warm even the most frigid soul. Admittedly, the book is a bit redundant; reading the same saintly story with a different name after the quotation mark, but that appeared to be Dent’s purpose in telling this story and he did so with a bevy of tales and quotes from those closest to the situation.

Stories like Freddie’s usually make front page news and are carried down from generation to generation for anyone that’s willing to listen. The desire to win, the love of the game and the willingness to sacrifice one’s own body for their team; these are the themes behind any great story about sports. Freddie’s story was big news as it happened, but as time has passed, it seems to get forgotten in the pantheon of legends of sports.

Seven Saturdays a year, the Longhorn faithful gather in the stadium named after that “little” coach that recruited Freddie to come from Colorado to Texas. Seven Saturdays a year, the stands are filled with people who travel from all over the state to watch their burnt orange-clad heroes take the field and carry the tradition of Texas football. Seven Saturdays a year, those same people could tell you what high school all 125 athletes on the sidelines attended as they stand there and watch the largest video board ever placed in a college stadium flash images of Texas football history. There are still shots of the first team from 1893, indelible images of legendary games gone by like the “Big Shootout” between Arkansas and Texas featuring James Street throwing the ball to Randy Peschel and the latter making a once-in-a-lifetime catch or Vince Young scrambling to the end zone to beat USC in the 2005 Rose Bowl. On-and-on these images roll of Longhorn greats Ricky Williams and Earl Campbell and so many others, all greeted with raucous applause. One image stands out to me, though, because it is met with indifference. The image is that of Freddie Steinmark, the young man who put everything he had in playing football for the University of Texas. It baffles me mainly because so many of these people have the tools to figure out who that strange man is, with the computers in their pockets and a world of information at their fingertips, but choose not to. My mother and I wait seven Saturdays every fall with baited breath for the picture of Freddie to appear on the screen so we may pay our due respects to the young man from Colorado with the winning smile.

I, too, was like so many Longhorn fans. I grew up not knowing who Freddie Steinmark was. That was until my mom asked me one day if I knew his story. Upon saying no, she appeared with Freddie’s autobiography, I Play to Win, co-authored by legendary sportswriter Blackie Sherrod.  I read it cover-to-cover in the matter of a week and as I did, I cried and wondered how this story wasn’t commonplace around UT. Since then, I have told whoever is willing to listen about the courage of Freddie Joe Steinmark. I personally hope that one day he is revered and lionized in UT football lore the same way Layne, Nobis, Street, Campbell, Williams, Young and McCoy are. With books like Dent’s, actions like Coach Brown’s, and with a supposed movie in the works, maybe Freddie will become the household name synonymous with courage in the face of insurmountable odds I feel he deserves to be.

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So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I hope you enjoyed it. I will absolutely accept any and all feedback and, take Spanky Stephens advice: "When you are feeling lower than a snake's belly, think about how Freddie always rose up."

Freddie never accepted what was was handed him, he went out and earned everything he was able to and then some. He fought for every achievement he could get, never settled for giving less than his all, and never let anyone tell him what he couldn't do. So many lessons can be learned from this young man's courage and sticktoitiveness  that it almost seems too Disney, too made up, but I assure you it is all true. 

There are many days when life seems hard and the weight of juggling two jobs and going to school seems like too much for me to handle, but when I think of Freddie and his legacy that he has left behind, I know I can muster the courage and ability to keep striving and never settle. 

Do yourselves a favor and look at some of the links and familiarize yourself with the little guy with the big heart.

http://www.texassports.com/news/2005/11/23/112305aae_461.aspx

http://www.freddiejoesteinmark.com