Moments

Life is full of moments. I understand that's not the most bold statement ever made by, well, anyone, but it's true. There are the good moments where you feel like you're on top of the world and you skip freely down the road, singing whatever song makes your heart the happiest. There are also the opposite moments, where life doesn't seem to stop piling on. Where one swing and a miss turns into 4 outs on 8 pitches seen with two strikeouts a la Josh Hamilton in the 2012 Wild Card game against the Orioles.

A lot of times, though, we occupy that middle ground between the two. We may stub our toe getting out of bed, but then our boss calls to say the office is closed for the morning due to an unexpected power outage. You may forget to study for a test and cram all day to find out upon test time that it's open notes and your stress and worry really didn't matter. Life is all about these moments and how we deal with them, and more importantly it's about whether we allow that one swing and miss affect how we play the rest of the game. 

I had a bit of a temper as a child and couldn't reign my emotions in a lot of the time, believe it or not. I cried and whined and lost my cool and didn't know how to properly deal with these things as they came my way with a clear, level head. I'm not saying there are loads of kids who do, mind you, I was just a basket case at times. But then along came my dad. 

For those that know him, Roger Farr is a good man. He cares a lot about a lot of people and for a lot of my friends, both older and younger than I, he was the cool, funny dad. He listened to countless kids at church and at our various school events that would come jibber-jabber his ear off about what was good in their life. Mom got them in school, Dad got them when they were away from school. 

I know this is one of the biggest cliches of them all, but it took me until well into my 30s to realize what a great man my father is. I always knew him as someone unafraid to show Randall or I tough love when we needed it, which was more often than not. I remembered, falsely, all of the times I felt that he was unfair or that his judgement was mean or evil against my favor. But when I look back on these moments, he was teaching me how to control myself, how to act, and how to get back up when life knocked me down. 

Can't hit a curveball to save my life and strike out with the bases loaded to end an inning? Dad tells me to chin up because you can't pitch with tears in your eyes. Same with shooting free throws. Same with a lot of life, actually. He's always been there for me, and the older I get, the more I realize I'm not the only person who relies on him in this way. Also the older I get, the more I realize how much of what he used to tell me when it came to sports, my favorite being, "The other teams kids moms and dads want to see them win just as badly as we want you to and they bought them gloves and bats just the same as we bought you." That was his was of saying you win some and you lose some and that it's really just a game so give it your best shot, and if you don't get a hit, it's not that you did wrong.

Once again, I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I will say this in closing. Life sometimes knocks you down and like a bully, doesn't let you get back up. My dad has gotten smacked pretty good by life recently, and he probably doesn't want me sharing this, but if you see him, give him a hug. I know he could use it. 

And Dad, hopefully Mom makes you read this, and if she does, let me say this: You are the smartest, hardest working man that I'll ever know and if I grow up to be half as wise, caring, strong and amazing as you, I know I'll be just fine. Thank you for always guiding me and never letting me give up on myself and for also never giving up on me, because I know that I gave you chances to. Thank you for always leading by example and showing me, Randy, Tony and now Reid that being a real man isn't always what the stereotypes say they are, but that being humble, and caring with the ability to be hilarious and roll with the punches regardless of the situation counts too. Thank you for never settling, always setting the example, and being a true display of fatherly love. I'll never be able to repay you for the life lessons that you have given me, but I wanted you to know that they reached their mark. Sorry it took me so long to realize what you were aiming for.

2014 ramblings

A friend of mine asked me today what I was going to write tonight and I guess I hadn't shared with her that I was a part-time blogger when I have the time and I told her that I try to write about what's on my mind but it had been a month or so. Well, I apologize that it's been close to three. That's unacceptable and it won't happen again.

So, since I last wrote, there have been major changes all over the landscape of my life and that's what this edition will be about; catching up with the past 3 months, and what is going to happen moving forward. The new year is a good time to clean up some things and start fresh, right?

So, as far as 2013 is concerned: I finished my semester with 2 A's in 2 classes; learned more about the presidents and their fitness levels than I probably ever thought I would; decided to push off entrance into grad school until Fall '14 so I can knock out the remaining prerequisites and take the GRE again - not that I bombed the first attempt, I just know I can do better with any semblance of preparation; ran a half marathon in a personal best time; decided to focus on training for more runs; and have made some decisions regarding my sports loyalties. Added to that mix are, what I feel to be, the needed change that occurred at the head coaching position at UT and the Cowboys once again letting me down. 

Now onto bigger and (hopefully) brighter things in 2014. I'm not going to sit here and make some sweeping declaration that 2014 is going to be the best year yet, but I think it has some real potential.  

My first main decision of change in 2014 begins with something that happened in late 2013. The Dallas Cowboys, my favorite football team since birth, was puttering along with another lackluster year headed again for the all-to-familiar finality of finishing another season with eight wins and eight losses. They had snatched defeat from the jaws of victory on more than one occasion this season and I was starting to run out of excuses for how these things could continue to happen. I was also starting to get tired of rooting for a franchise with such poor upper management that I finally reached my breaking point. I love the Dallas Cowboys, I truly do, but from this point forward until Jerry Jones is no longer in charge of personnel decisions, I renounce them as my NFL team of choice after 30+ years and am a free agent. I will, at some point between now and the draft in May, have a new team draw in which I will draw my new team from a hat, or something else random. I do not want to jump on the bandwagon of some team left in the playoffs to be 'that guy' so I am going to leave it up to fate. I'm just too tired of feeling like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football while Jerry plays Lucy and yanks it from me each time. Life is too short to continue to make the same mistakes over and over again and Jerry's pompous attitude and selfish nature have finally pushed me overboard. I know this isn't some life-or-death moment, but it will be a part of my 2014 and is one that I am looking forward to!

Secondarily, I have decided to run again in 2014...a lot!! My plan currently is to run ten half marathons and maybe one full. You read that right...TEN. Most of these will take place in Texas and there are a lot of them around and I feel like pushing myself. The first of these races takes place in eleven days and I couldn't be more excited with the second just a few weeks after. Both of those are here in Austin as well so it won't require any travel. For those of you who have been reading along with me over the years, you know that I started writing when I started running so I am expecting this increased attention to long distances to really fuel my writing spirit. I will be chronicling these runs and keeping you all up to date on these events, as they will help me navigate the year with a clear head. This is more for a later blog, but after having trained in the past alone, I have started training with a group and I will tell you all right here and now without ruining the future writings that I enjoy it even more now for so many reasons.

This year will also lend itself to more knowledge growth than has been present of late as I plan to focus and dedicate myself more to reading and less to tv and movie watching. I realized over the summer and past semester that I really enjoyed reading as I was required to do a lot of it for my coursework, but found that I was lacking the ability to read what I wanted to, but that's about to change. I asked Santa for a load of books for Christmas and, well, I guess I had been a good boy because he came through in a major way. Most of these books are the stories of our sporting past, all non-fiction and based, in some regards, around my studies. I have found that I love learning these old stories of the foundations of our nations love affair with sports and sporting culture, and since it's my passion and what I am going to study for the foreseeable future, I might as well immerse myself in it. 

Long and short, and seemingly what this whole edition has come down to, is that I'm tired of settling for the mediocre and middle ground and 2014 will be my first year in attempting to go all out for everything I want, all the time. Yeah, I may fail. Failure happens. Nobody succeeds the first time, every time. But, if you've been given a gift or an ability to do something, it's time to stop wasting it. They say you can't take it with you, but they are wrong. You CAN, depending on what you want to take. The money and accolades and all of that will be left here, for sure, but the way you feel at the end because of the amount of effort you put in will always be with you and who wants to lie there when their time is up and beat themselves up over what they SHOULD have said or COULD have done. Not this guy. Not good enough. Not anymore.

Full disclaimer: I never know where these things are going to end up when I start writing. I rarely know what direction they will take, or what my overall message is. I appreciate you guys wading through with me and hopefully I will get better and grow as you all grow with me. Suggestions are always accepted. Help me get better.

Last thought, these two songs may be the same song with the same point and damn near the same tune(especially the start), but they both rule. See you soon!