I have found that a lot of the time, the person in question does, in fact, know how you felt about them. This isn't always the case, though, which is why I'm writing this today. All too often when something sudden and tragic happens - like a 36-year-old having a heart attack - we are left with the overwhelming guilt that we could have done more to appreciate them when they were here with us. Facebook posts will fly up left and right about hugging your loved ones and telling those close to you how you feel daily, and those things will become routine for a short period. Eventually, though, even our best intentions have a way of taking a back seat to life.
I know these things all too well because I am as guilty of them as the next person. I have lost quite a few people over the last decade and each time I have been stuck asking all the questions mentioned above. The difference is, though, that I have an answer to the last one more often than not. I try my best to let those around me know my feelings towards them when I get the chance and that's the best I can do. There are obviously situations where that isn't the case, but it is for the most part.
It wasn't yesterday, though. I lost a friend with whom I hadn't really been in touch with in 17 years. Jayson Freeman was a man of high quality when we were in high school, a guy I got to know while playing baseball in school. He was funny and kind and although he had things he struggled with, he never seemed to let it out on anyone else. I remember him being extremely genuine and just an all-around wonderful person. Freebird and I lost touch after high school, which was easy to do in the pre-Facebook days as some of you remember, but I have no reason to believe that any of the things I have said about him changed over time. Being funny and nice was his personality, who he was, not just an act. When I got the news last night of his passing, I was sad. Sad for his family and that group of friends that knew him the best. Sad for those people who never got the chance to speak with him or laugh with him. Sad for myself for not trying harder to reconnect with him as we got older and as the opportunities to keep in touch became easier. I didn't take the time to learn about his life as an adult and find out the things he had been doing. I didn't get to tell him the nice things I thought about him(or even how ridiculous he looked in his little purple truck) because as a high schooler, most of us weren't equipped or encouraged to do so. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and those friends who knew him the best as they are waking up today with a massive hole in their lives wondering what to do next.
I'll be guilty of saying these two things that always seem to be said: hug your loved ones and those close to you and live every day to it's fullest because you just never know. Cliche or not, it's the truth. Let's try this, though: Let's do whatever we can to make these lasting habits, long term things. That way, when our time comes - and it's coming for us all - we don't leave a load of people wondering if we knew.
I want to challenge you all to go make a difference in someone's life today. Reach out to an old friend. Do something nice for your cousin. Do something nice for yourself. Just do something that will make a positive impact on the day of someone you care about and when you wake up tomorrow, do it again. I love you guys and thanks for reading.
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